OmniscientIQ is redefining how AI companies use AI to deliver AI outcomes. We are seeking investors who understand that the opportunity is AI.
By The Numbers
The Metrics That Matter
All figures are accurate as of our most recent internal discussion, subject to revision, context, and the overall vibe of the market.
Total Addressable Market
$847T
All markets, globally, forever
ARR
Pre-Revenue
But post-vision
Valuation
Yes
Undisclosed (large)
Last Round
Series ?
We are between rounds
Runway
Ongoing
Methodology pending
NPS Score
AI/10
Proprietary scoring system
AI-Driven Growth Trajectory (Projected)
Source: Internal projections. Y-axis omitted intentionally. All growth is directionally correct.
Investment Thesis
Why Now. Why AI. Why OmniscientIQ.
Three questions. Three answers. All of them AI.
🌍
The Market Is AI
Every market is becoming an AI market. The companies that AI their AI before their competitors AI their AI will capture the AI. We are that company.
⚡
The Timing Is AI
We are at an inflection point. The AI that exists today is not the AI of tomorrow, but the AI of today is already more AI than the AI of yesterday. This window is closing.
🔒
The Moat Is AI
Our proprietary Intelligence Intelligence™ layer creates compounding defensibility. Every AI we deploy teaches our AI to deploy better AI, creating an AI flywheel that competitors cannot replicate without our AI.
📈
The Exit Is AI
Strategic acquirers in the AI space are actively seeking AI-native AI platforms with proven AI infrastructure. We are that platform. The exit will be AI.
🤝
The Team Is AI
Our founders have a combined 47 years of experience across AI, adjacent AI, and non-AI roles that are now AI-adjacent. We have been building toward this AI moment our entire careers.
🎯
The Vision Is AI
In 10 years, every company will be an AI company. We intend to be the AI company that makes those companies AI companies. The vision is clear. The vision is AI.
Backed by leading investors who believe in AI
AI Fund II (Not Affiliated With AI Fund)
Paradigm Shift Fund IV (Paradigms I–III Did Not Shift)
Metaverse Survivors Fund (Now AI-Focused)
FOMO Ventures
We Heard About This At A Conference Capital
Our LP Is My Uncle, Inc.
Press Coverage
What People Are Saying (Approximately)
OmniscientIQ has been covered by the publications that cover things like OmniscientIQ.
TechCrunch
"OmniscientIQ Is Doing Something With AI"
"We spoke with the founders for 40 minutes and came away with a strong sense that something is happening here."
Forbes
"We Talked to OmniscientIQ For 45 Minutes and Are Still Not Sure What They Do, But the Deck Was Beautiful"
"The graph went up consistently across all 247 slides."
Wired
"The AI Company That Uses AI to Do AI Things Is Raising Again"
"Whether this constitutes a business model remains an open question. The valuation is not."
VentureBeat
"OmniscientIQ Raises Undisclosed Amount at Undisclosed Valuation to Continue Doing What They Do"
"Investors describe the round as 'oversubscribed,' 'AI-forward,' and 'happening.'"
Bloomberg
"Inside the AI Startup That Might Be Valued at Something"
"When pressed to explain the core product, the CEO said 'AI' and pointed at the whiteboard. The whiteboard said 'AI.'"
Wall Street Journal
"AI Startup OmniscientIQ Has a $847 Trillion Vision and Zero Revenue. Investors Are In."
"Sources familiar with the matter say the company's burn rate is 'intentional' and the path to profitability is 'post-AI.'"
Leadership
The Team Behind the AI
Our leadership team combines decades of experience across AI, pre-AI, and AI-adjacent industries.
JC
Jordan Chen
Chief Executive AI Officer
Previously built AI at three companies that were acquired for AI. Coined the term "Intelligence Intelligence™" in a Zoom call. Forbes 30 Under AI.
MP
Morgan Park
Chief AI Officer (AI Division)
15 years building AI systems that other AI systems learn from. Holds 4 patents in the field of AI. All 4 patents say "AI" in the title.
SR
Sam Rivera
Chief Synergy Officer
Spent 12 years at McKinsey identifying synergies. Joined OmniscientIQ to synergize those synergies using AI. Has never not synergized.
TW
Taylor Wu
Head of AI Infrastructure AI
Scaled AI at a company you've heard of. Left to scale AI at a company you'll hear of. That company is this company. The AI is being scaled.
This is a parody website created for satirical and entertainment purposes only. OmniscientIQ is a fictional company. All financial figures, valuations, metrics, investor names, press coverage, leadership bios, and pitch deck materials on this page are entirely fabricated. Nothing on this page constitutes investment advice, a securities offering, or any form of financial solicitation. The $847 trillion TAM figure represents the total value of all global economic activity, all future economic activity, and several activities that have not yet been invented. This is not financial advice. Or legal advice. Or AI advice. It is satire.
📊
About Our Pitch Deck
Our pitch deck is 247 slides.
Slides 1–246 are the word "AI" in different fonts.
Slide 247 is a graph that goes up.
⏳
Preparing Your Deck
Our AI is currently selecting the optimal font for each instance of "AI" in your personalized deck.
This process takes between 3 and 11 business days.
A link will be sent to an email address we don't have yet.
Investor Verification
Are you an accredited investor?
Please select one option to proceed.
No, I am not an accredited investor
Unavailable
🔒
Investment Materials Are Available to Tier 1 Investors Only
To access our investment materials, you must first be a Tier 1 investor.
To become a Tier 1 investor, you must first receive our investment materials.